Would anyone know who I was

 
       
 
Nov 17, 2018, 05:41 PM

Would anyone know who I was
Intro
If I’ve made a difference in anyone’s life;
I wish they’d tell me so.
If it matters if I live or die
I’d really like to know.
Chorus
Flowers can’t bloom without water.
A man can’t survive without love.
If I were to die tomorrow
Would anyone know who I was?
Verse
I saw a tree fall in the forest
Where it stood a hundred years.
There was nobody there to mourn it.
Not a creature shed a tear.
Verse
It provided shade it gave shelter
And yet no one seemed to care.
Life carries on with or without you
As if you were never there.
Lift
Somehow it didn’t seem fair.
I knelt and said a prayer.
Chorus
Flowers can’t bloom without water.
A man can’t survive without love.
If I were to die tomorrow
Would anyone know who I was?
Verse
I came back around in the spring time
Saw sprouts growing all around.
From the mighty oak the small acorns
Took root in the fertile ground.
Saw the trunk was home to a rabbit
Was a place to raise her young.
When we die what we gaves stills giving
Yes even when we are done.
Chorus
Dreamers can’t dream without hoping
that one day one dream will come true.
Mine came when my heart discovered
That you loved me like I loved you.
Tag
If anyone knows me you do.

[ Edited: 30 November 2018 11:19 AM by carroll kiphen]
 
     
carroll kiphen Joined Feb 22, 2016
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Nov 28, 2018, 05:04 AM

That is a Good Write it deserves Very Good Music maybe give it a FINAL TWIST

where his or her life is turned around ending positively via a re write to the

last Chorus and finding love in the last verse

Listeners love a happy ending  

With that I am sure someone would want to put music to the lyric

 
     
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Peter Kristian Joined Jan 11, 2008
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Nov 28, 2018, 10:54 AM

Maybe this and drop the outro?

Chorus
Flowers can’t bloom without water.
And I can’t survive without you.
They say that love lasts forever
I want to find out if it’s true.
Tag
If anyone knows me you do.

 
     
carroll kiphen Joined Feb 22, 2016
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Nov 28, 2018, 11:48 AM

Yes that’s well worth thinking about , maybe sleep on tht final chorus

And point lines two three and four to the positive ending as well

but put them in the present tense

so in fact the singer has now jumped forwards

in time and reflecting on the fact that they have made

a big difference to someone special in their life to date


finishing on your new one line tag

[ Edited: 30 November 2018 05:54 AM by Peter Kristian]
 
     
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Peter Kristian Joined Jan 11, 2008
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Nov 28, 2018, 04:38 PM

Chorus
Dreamers can’t dream without hoping
that one day one dream will come true.
Mine came when my heart discovered
That you loved me like I loved you.
Tag
If anyone knows me you do.

 
     
carroll kiphen Joined Feb 22, 2016
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Nov 30, 2018, 05:55 AM

Yes I like that nice work

 
     
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Peter Kristian Joined Jan 11, 2008
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Nov 30, 2018, 11:22 AM

ok changed it.

 
     
carroll kiphen Joined Feb 22, 2016
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Nov 30, 2018, 12:24 PM

this verse…....

I saw a tree fall in the forest
Where it stood a hundred years.
There was nobody there to mourn it.
Not a creature shed a tear.

......dosent make a lot of sense to me , coz it sounds like youre saying you , that you were there to see the tree fall , but there was nobody there to mourn it , but clearly you were there , coz you saw it fall . so were you there or not ? or are you saying that you saw the tree fall , but nobody ( including you ) chose to mourn it ?

 
     
sandor nevery Joined Jun 08, 2014
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Nov 30, 2018, 04:20 PM

Geez! If you take every song lyric literally and dissect it there will be a ton that don’t make sense. Stairway to heaven/ How can there be a stairway to a place we have no proof of it’s existence. Why would there be stores in Heaven. Are the ones who go there going to need jobs?
Just relax and enjoy the music.

 
     
carroll kiphen Joined Feb 22, 2016
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Dec 01, 2018, 11:48 AM

Very good parable, it resonates with my feelings, I have similar thoughts lately.

Another side of your talent :)

Thank you for sharing)

 
     
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Alexey Zhabinsky Joined Aug 01, 2018
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Dec 04, 2018, 09:02 AM
sandor nevery - 30 November 2018 12:24 PM

this verse…....

I saw a tree fall in the forest
Where it stood a hundred years.
There was nobody there to mourn it.
Not a creature shed a tear.

......dosent make a lot of sense to me , coz it sounds like youre saying you , that you were there to see the tree fall , but there was nobody there to mourn it , but clearly you were there , coz you saw it fall . so were you there or not ? or are you saying that you saw the tree fall , but nobody ( including you ) chose to mourn it ?


———————————————————————————————
Maybe——A Tree had fell down in The Forest ???  9
  line two—Where it stood for a century or more———as written 9
  Maybe     I ‘m hoping it makes a large table
  Maybe —Cause that’s what a tree is grown for

 

  then it could be followed up with another direction for the song lyrics
-Line one and two for the next verse

——————-Yes all life is here for a reason ( 9 syllables)
            And that includes someone like me   (9)
            3————————————————
            4————————————————

Two lines needed above ?, its only examples that can make a song
lyric a little more interesting ,  Its something I do all the time
and at the end of the day it often promotes lines that make a song
stand out from the others, but I appreciate where you are going with
the song;  I sleep on songs I have written only to come back and
make them better and more interesting
As you obviously know
Songs are not just written they are Re Written

 

Its just a question of fine editing

 
     
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Peter Kristian Joined Jan 11, 2008
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Dec 04, 2018, 12:18 PM

peter@

‘‘Yes all life is here for a reason ( 9 syllables)
And that includes someone like me   (9)
3————————————————
4————————————————’‘


this(1) life(2) is(3) a(4) ser(5)ies(6) of(7) cir(8)cles(9)
like(1) the(2) cir(3)cles(4) in(5)side(6) of(7) a(8) tree(9)
yes(1) all(2) life(3) is(4) here(5) for(6) a(7) rea(8)son(9)
and(1) that(2) in(3)cludes(4) some(5)one(6) like(7) me(8)

 
     
sandor nevery Joined Jun 08, 2014
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Dec 05, 2018, 05:49 PM

You had my interest with the intro. it’s killer.
You have gotten lots of good comments- food for thought.
I will share with you my immediate thought as I read this through the first time ( I did read it a bunch)
I have spent lots’a time in the forest, as many of us have.
I have not seen a tree fall unless someone or something was pushing it.
This thought distracted me.

Thanks

Steve Bines

 
     
steven bines Joined Nov 01, 2007
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