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I’ve Got the Worst Luck

 
       
 
Oct 07, 2005, 04:39 AM

Alright, this is a funny little light-hearted song I wrote I little whiles back.  I never took it seriously, but I thought I’d share it with you guys just for laughs.  The way I envision it is with a little country tune to it, kind of like Kenny Chesney’s style.

I’ve Got the Worst Luck

Oh, I really hate my life,
And let me tell you why.
I have got such bad luck that
I wish I would die.

Like, just the other day
I went on a date
I took her someplace private, yeah,
Hoping we would mate (wink, wink).

So we sat there at the table,
Cool as cool could be.
I reached across to make my move,
And that’s when she slapped me.

SLAP! Across the left cheek,
WHAP! Across the right.
She got up from the table and,
CRAP she left me that night.

So I sat there in the darkness
Feeling all lost and forlorn.
And ever since that fateful night,
I’ve had to resort to porn-ohhhhh

*Chorus*

‘Cause I’ve got the worst luck,
Of anyone I know.
I don’t really know why, I’m
Just an average Joe.

But for some strange reason,
God’s got it in for me.
So if you hang around me then
You’re as good as history.

‘Cause I’ve got the worst luck,
That is plain to see.
I haven’t yet passed high school
Though I’m twenty-three
And my girlfriend dumped me,
Leaving me all heart-brokenly.  ( <—-speed up at this point, for this line only)
Oh you would be hard-pressed to find
Someone with worse luck than me.

*End Chorus*

Now I was walking home
From school the other day.
Looking at the ground so
I wouldnt lose my way.

And lying in the street
Was a twenty dollar bill.
I thought of my good luck,
Thought of it until…

DAMN! A squirrel stole the money,
BAM! A car slammed into me.
I flew through the air and,
WHAM! I hit a tree.

SO I’m lying here in bed,
With a couple broken bones.
Some mild lacerations and
Some medical bill loans.

And I may be dying,
And no one gives a ####.
While I keep on cursing my
Dirty rotten luck - ohhhh

*Chorus*

....

‘Cause I’ve got the worst luck,
That is plain to see.
I haven’t yet passed high school,
Though I’m twenty-three.
And my girlfriend dumped me, squirrels have robbed me,
And a car hit me.
You would be hard pressed to find
Someone with worse luck than me.

Some friends and I went sailing yeah,
Going pretty fast.
We cruised along the salty bay,
Me in my body cast.

Now they would probably be fine
If I hadn’t come along
Or maybe if I just had not,
written this damn song.

So maybe God was pissed at me,
Or maybe just because
But in any case we got in
To a fight with Jaws.

CHOMP! There goes the starboard side,
CROMP! He ate Craig.
We all jumped into the water and,
GLOMP! He ate my leg.

Now it’s pretty hard to swim,
In a body cast.
Especially without a leg,
See how long you’d last.

But I made it to an island,
Far from society.
I laid down in the sand
And I asked God why me?

Oh why me…
Oh why me…

I’ll tell you why…

*Chorus*

....

‘Cause I’ve got the worst luck,
That is plain to see
I haven’t yet passed high school
Though I’m twenty-three
And my girlfriend dumped me, squirrels have robbed me,
And I’m lost at sea.
Oh you would be hard pressed to find
Someone with worse luck than me.

Someone, with worse luck than meeeeeeee!

 
     
will platt Joined Oct 06, 2005
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Oct 08, 2005, 04:03 AM

Now this is pretty damned funny!

Eric

 
     
eric stewart Joined Sep 30, 2005
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Oct 09, 2005, 05:03 PM

Lol, thanks.  Actually, what’s funny is me trying to sing it, because I have no singing voice.

But I think it’s missing something.  What do you think it might be?

 
     
will platt Joined Oct 06, 2005
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Oct 13, 2005, 06:00 AM

Alright, so what’s funny to me is that this thread (and many others that I’ve seen) has a ton of views, and yet only 2 replies. 

People, it’s a fairly long song.  If you’re going to take the time to read it, then why not spend an extra two minutes writing out a reply.  It does even have to be a long reply; something like “This song sucks,” or, “I loved it!” would be fine.  I just want some feedback, that’s all. 
And I’m sure I’m not the only one irritated about this.  This is a forum dedicated to the review of songs; we’re not spamming just to get the number of posts up.  We actually want to hear the general public’s opinion about our work. 

Sorry about the rant.

 
     
will platt Joined Oct 06, 2005
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