Poison Lies

Mar 12, 2010, 08:25 AM

Hey all, been a while since I posted something Im quite pleased with, its a dark write not my usual style but I like exploring new areas of my mind!  I appreciate all your comment’s good or bad as they help me to develop!  So let me know what ya’ll think!

Sara
x

Poison Lies

Verse1
Sometimes I like to lay awake
watch the moon upon the lake
An each and every time I do
My memory wanders to you

Verse2
Demons they plaque my mind
why, cause its you I cant find
So I slip inside a poison lie
It takes me on, an lets me fly

Pre Chorus
An each and every time I do,
one step back one step forward
but it never leads to you

Chorus
Poison lies inside my mind
lift me up and take me high
Blackness follows
Drowning in sorrows
Bring me down
Bring me down
Poison lies, you bring me down

Verse3
Watch the clouds part to cry
I’m left feeling like you died
but the truth does lay inside
upon a ugly demon it rides.

Bridge
Staring down the barrel of a gun
now my life has just begun
Take me back to the start
From the good I will not part

Pre Chorus
An each and every time I do,
one step back one step forward
but it never leads to you

Chorus
Poison lies inside my mind
lift me up and take me high
Blackness follows
Drowning in sorrows
Bring me down
Bring me down
Poison lies, you bring me down

Chorus
Poison lies inside my mind
lift me up and take me high
Blackness follows
Drowning in sorrows
Bring me down
Bring me down
Poison lies, you bring me down

Written Sara Williams 2010 ©

Mar 12, 2010, 09:42 AM

In my opinion all of this could be condensed into the opening verse, then…you should write in the details that would connect this lyric to actual or made-up events that give definition to the ideas of lies, escaping into fantasy (by whichever means), a few details about what a specific lie has done to you, etcetera. There are no details here. No problem with the darkness; I just want more details.

Hugs
JD

Mar 12, 2010, 11:00 AM

Hey JD,

Thanks for the comments you could be right about condensing the whole lot into one verse! But I do have a reason why I wrote this the way I did! I was talking to a producer and a band the other the day and they said a lot of lyrics these days are to open for listenier you know what the song is about and whilst there is nothing wrong with that, this band in particular like to have songs which make you think and play on your mind a little melodramtic I know but I wasnt about to argue with them as there in much better postion music wise than I am! So anyway the conversation flowed to lyrics which are dark, deep and thought provoking! One guy had said to me if you could write about a person as yourself battling drugs who takes them to find there inner self (way to deep for me) what would you describe it as! So I said posion, hence where my ideas came into play for the above write!  Also we discussed the idea of nonsense lyrics a song that dosent really make any sense to the listener but because its got the right singer and music its well received! 

Anyway here goes:

The pre chorus refers to taking the drug to find one’s self

An each and every time I do,
one step back one step forward
but it never leads to you

but this dosent work so the chorus leads into the destruction of the drug -

Poison lies inside my mind
lift me up and take me high
Blackness follows
Drowning in sorrows
Bring me down
Bring me down
Poison lies, you bring me down

The “lies” is the false emotion/high which a drug gives you so therefore its a lie.
So in essence the song is about a drug addict trying to find his or her real self before the drugs took that away. Whilst I admit this isnt obvious to the reader it still does make you wander what is the poison so you could adapt this to be about your own vice/posion you have in your life. 

But I agree could use more body to it so I will have a go at adding some more to it!

:@)
x

Mar 12, 2010, 11:42 AM

I interpreted the song as a song about “lying to yourself” or fostering delusions. I’d never have thought of drugs. If it’s okay to be open for different interpretations then it’s okay. If the song is supposed to be about drugs it’s not too congenial, I’m afraid.

The verses are okay, the bridge is brilliant. Pre-chorus and chorus are okay if they are meant to be obscure.

Cheers,
Bernd

Mar 12, 2010, 11:49 AM

hey bernd,

Thanks for stopping in!

Yeah well now Ive confused myself not sure I want to portray the drug use or just leave it open so that the posion is whatever vices we have! Mmmmmmmmmm gonna have to think about! It need’s tweaking for sure!

Glad you like the bridge that is my favorite part too!!!

The pre chorus and chorus are meant to be obsecure but that takes me back to the postion of do I make this lyric more obvious if its about drugs! Aghhhhhhhhhh I must decide

Sara
:@)

Mar 12, 2010, 05:09 PM

I like the deep darkness of the song Sara !!
I like the way you portray feelings.I can relate for I’ve been there.Never again.
God Bless you,Quite heart felt and heart wrenching at the same time.
Shari

Mar 12, 2010, 11:54 PM

Shari said exactly what i wanted to say. (are you living in my head unknowing to me)

Mar 13, 2010, 07:50 AM

Sara, ithink its good as it is.Jd remember suspends adds a good feel to literature.sometimes you need to give the listener the opportunity to decide what it all means to them.

cheers Sara.

Mar 16, 2010, 02:48 AM

I do agree Faustina

Mar 16, 2010, 03:10 AM

Gosh/ I wuz gonna say that i did not understand the meaning if the first line of the Bridge.
But it seems others get it so I have to think about it some more.
thanks for posting this
sb

Mar 16, 2010, 11:26 AM

hi Shari,

Thanks for your honest response, Im glad that you understood and felt this lyric. I was going to change it but I after reading the comments Im going to keep it as it is.

Sara
x

Mar 16, 2010, 11:28 AM

Hi Nikkita,

Thank you and glad your feeling the lyric, maybe its a case of great minds think alike! lol
:@)

Mar 16, 2010, 11:29 AM

Hi Faustina,

Thank’s a lot for reading this! Yeah suspense is a good thing Im glad this came across in this lyric I wasnt sure about it.

:@)

Mar 16, 2010, 11:34 AM

Hi Steve,

Thanks for stopping by! the meaning of the bridge was really saying “now im facing death, I realise how much I want life, If I can come back from this I wont go there again” hope this makes sense?

:@)

Mar 16, 2010, 12:16 PM

Sara,
I like this-it certainly is deeper the more you think about it. Iwrote a lyric with the phrase “Poison Apple Lies” in it. Good work
Cindy