Take Me With You:..:..:.W/DEmo   Matthews & Hoeve /Productions/Lyrics by Shirley E.Matthews/CoWritttenJohnny Hoeve

Apr 02, 2010, 08:30 AM

TAKE ME WITH YOU

Baby here comes the sun, Don’t look surprised
Look up and see those heart shaped skies
And if this is heaven then let’s keep love alive
I can see above the clouds

Take me with you
Take me with you

I’m blowing purple crystals up against the silvery moon
And through my window pain I can see the daffodils will blossom soon
You can help me cope with these feelings so new
Feel my heart beating out loud

Sometimes I admit I don’t know what to do
All I know is want you to take me
Take me with you

Baby we can ride untill the break of dawn
And enjoy the late night kisses while laying in eachother’s arms
From the cradle to the grave let’s keep love alive
Feel your heart beating out loud
See the moon above the clouds

Sometimes I admit I don’t know what to do
All I know is want you to take me
When the morning comes tell me what you wanna do?
All I know is I want you to take me
Take me with you
Take me with you

[TAKE Me With You]
http://www.myspace.com/johnnyhoeve

 

 

Song by Matthews & Hoeve
Recording: Moonpub Music

Apr 02, 2010, 08:56 AM

This isn’t working for me at all. First of all, your singer talks about the sun, then we’re doing whatever till the break of dawn (implying night). You need a coherent timeline. I’ve never seen a “heart shaped sky.” Skies aren’t heart shaped. I’m not hearing a hook—not a memorable one. I hate to offer such a harsh critique, because I’m afraid you’ll take it as some kind of attack, but truly I’m only pointing out opportunities to strengthen this write. The melody is completely unremarkable; Johnny is capable of better, but he had what you gave him to work with.  Best of luck on the rewrite.

Hugs
JD

Apr 02, 2010, 09:25 AM

Hey Shirl,

Nice job. I like it.

I interpret the first two verses metaphorically. An awakening of love.

The abstract visuals work for me.

I enjoyed the listen.

Peace

Apr 02, 2010, 09:31 AM

I Will be back..to talk later,,,but people do things all times of the day..I do recall ‘‘you Called This lyric’‘Bipolar..
you damn right I’m gonna take it as harsh…but if you ain’t feelin it that’s you..James.  I won;t defend
or defend this Lyric..People makes the world go round James..and Your criqt..is just one opinion…..
Love is full of Thoughts that conflict..and in case you forget what a metaphor… is that’s the Heart shaped
skies ...

Apr 02, 2010, 09:33 AM

‘’‘thanx.. .Nathan I will back…

 

Shirl;;; to comment later..

~~~~

Apr 02, 2010, 12:07 PM

good song shirley i really enjoyed that one, take me with you…..... thanks for sharing your music

god bless

Apr 02, 2010, 12:24 PM

Actually, for me the song works really well.  I like the feel of it, almost a Joe Jackson sound.  Lyrically, I have no problem with the “timeline”, since there really isn’t one, and one is not even required for a song like this.  The writer is simply expressing thoughts and imagining times together with the other person. 

Not every song needs to tell a story, follow a timeline….or even rhyme.

There are no rules in songwriting!

Well done, Shirl and Johnny.

-Mike

Apr 02, 2010, 01:03 PM

You can try to help people but in the end, they either drink of the water or they don’t. Strat—you have no clue what you’re talking about, unless of course you’re strictly talking about writing for one’s own pleasure, in which case—why even post? The truth is, there ARE rules. Go peddle that “no rules” garbage to A&R or Publishing and see how far you get. ZILCH. Songs need to be about something, not condradict themselves and hold the attention of the public. I’ve stated why this falls short on several fronts and am right. If you want to indulge in some fantasy whereby no matter what you put out there is “great,” by all means go right ahead, but you’re only fooling yourself. You try posting this at http://www.justplainfolks.org and let’s see what that more professional level feedback looks like. Good luck with it.

Peace
JD

Apr 02, 2010, 02:14 PM

Whoa, chill out a little and back off on the anger, JD.  Tell your story to writers like Jimmy Webb, Bob Dylan and John Lennon.  If they would have thought like you, we would never have seen music progress through the years.  People have to be willing to push the envelope, buck tradition and create new trends.

Anybody can write or release a song that can be a million seller, it’s been done countless times over the years with songs like “I’m Henry the Eighth I Am” and “The Streak” - the problem is knowing exactly what the fickle music-buying public is looking for, and releasing that song at that exact instant.  Good luck precedes talent in many, if not most cases.  Especially today.  Listen to all the incredibly talented singer-songwriters slaving away in coffeehouses and bars - then turn on the radio and listen to what sells. 

You say “I’ve stated why this falls short on several fronts and am right”.  Give me a break. 

-Mike

Apr 02, 2010, 02:43 PM

Anger?  I"m not at all angry. I’m being direct. You don’t do well with direct aparently.

JD

Apr 02, 2010, 03:08 PM

Whatever, JD.

Shirl, here’s how your song hits me.  See my interpretation in italics and tell me if I’m on the same page:

TAKE ME WITH YOU

Baby here comes the sun, Don’t look surprised a couple has spent the night together and it’s sunrise
Look up and see those heart shaped skies the warm glow of love makes everything heart shaped (metaphorically)
And if this is heaven then let’s keep love alive same
I can see above the clouds another metaphor - “i see heaven”

Take me with you
Take me with you

I’m blowing purple crystals up against the silvery moon this line didn’t strike me as fitting the rest of the song, other than ‘heavenly’ imagery
And through my window pain I can see the daffodils will blossom soon springtime, new beginnings, new relationship
You can help me cope with these feelings so new
Feel my heart beating out loud

Sometimes I admit I don’t know what to do
All I know is want you to take me
Take me with you

Baby we can ride untill the break of dawn could mean sex, could mean literally riding - motorcycles or horses - romance imagery
And enjoy the late night kisses while laying in eachother’s arms definitely sex :-)
From the cradle to the grave let’s keep love alive
Feel your heart beating out loud
See the moon above the clouds

Sometimes I admit I don’t know what to do
All I know is want you to take me
When the morning comes tell me what you wanna do?
All I know is I want you to take me
Take me with you
Take me with you

Apr 02, 2010, 05:02 PM

J.D.,

You can’t take anything direct yourself. I’ve yet to see you take any criticism without hitting those who think your writing could use some adjusting with some smart remark. You don’t defend your work because there is no defense, so you discredit those who write songs differently from you. You’re no better than anyone else on this forum. So next time someone gives you a suggestion, suck it up, but that would be a stomach full of pride.

IHS,

S-Bone

Apr 02, 2010, 07:02 PM

:.:..:.:  ....@ James: First of all I would like to know What was your Basis for stopping by To comment
on This particular Piece Take You With Me w/Demo ?? You basically have already stated your position
About ‘‘my Lyric’‘[that was unedited by Johnny at the time].. you stated that you thought My Lyric
was’‘bipolar’‘...

Mar 18, 2010, 10:56 PM

[Here is your quote]
It sounds a bit bipolar, sorta kinda. It begins with (you) telling (him) “dont act surprised,” but (you) go on to say there are the rumors, etcetera about how (he’s) having second thoughts, yet you say “take me with you.” Very confusing. The rest is cool imagery, and interesting, but adds nothing in the way of details pertaining to the confusion, or what caused the confusion. MEAT AND POTATOS. We’ve talked about details before; develop this into a storyline and take the story through these motions, THEN you’ll have a killer good lyric.

Smilin’ Upon Ya
JD

****** I have been studying you for days..James and I have notice that
you always ‘‘Attack Lyric’s ‘‘you feel that you can write better….
it;s like a personal trip you got going…And FranklyI don;t need
JPF’‘to validate’‘This lyric…because it;s basically supports..
Country Lyrics…

Whoa..  James just wasn;t gonna be ;;Happy until
you gave another ‘’ negative comment about This Piece…

***** I don;t have probs.James with Crtiq..as long
as youre mindful of how you comment..I think there
are others ways to tell ‘‘A writer that;;You aren;t
feelin…I do think this was a personal attack to me
but’‘I;m not fazed by your antics..
you know I can get down with you intellectually
‘‘any freakin day of the week and
you can;t stand it!!:) ;;o
okay,, ....I’m never gonna be intimidated
by what you say or do period….

Shirl;o

Apr 02, 2010, 07:25 PM

Come on guys/girl, don’t go into fight over the lyric. It is not meant to be a story-telling song and yes it has no timeline. But it is also no country song really so it didn’t feel necessary to explain and make everything clear for all listeners. It is indeed all setup for imagery and giving a nice feel both with words and music. You just do your own interpretation with it and that is fine. There is some hidden rhymes in it and the words felt nice singing. I know lot of lyricwriters are always into the meaning and structering of the story but as musician (and singer) I first go for the lines/words that feels great singing. I wanted to do this song to try a vocal that is not loud but more soft and this lyric and melody fitted fine to do that.

Apr 02, 2010, 07:27 PM

‘’....I would like to get back to the matters at hand….:)

**** Johnny and I knew it could be a chance ‘‘That This particular
song would not be received’‘well by some people…but,,
Johnny and I have basically the same vision ‘‘About
How we wanted This Piece to..come across….
It has an Latin edge..with Americana…

I don’t like being placed in a position;;where
I have to defend ‘‘A Lyric..that;s written by me..
period..So if anyone else don’t feel it..
Cool:)...’‘To each it;s own…:)

Shirl;o

Apr 02, 2010, 07:37 PM

Hell;o…

@Nathan:)
@ Mike :)
@ BC’‘:)
@ Scully/S Bone:)

Whoa. I will be back to answer you all personally…
at a later time…Whoa…It’s really good to hear
How your song is perceived….
No hard feelins should come from this
I;m not naive’‘I know everyone in
the world isn;t gonna embrace
my Lyric….:):)..And That;s
the way the ball bounces…:)

Shirl;o