Dreams Of Pretend-lyric and demo—Any opinions will be weclome and appreciated. Thanks

Aug 31, 2010, 07:50 AM

Dreams Of Pretend

Faces with painted eyes
Stare at starless skies
Love fades but pages remain
Telling a story of burnt out flames

Empty hearts raining tears
Crying over the wasted years
Holding hands in the book of lies
The truth hides in our favorite lines

Candles burn low but still we wait
Watching castles falling in a golden lake
We close our eyes wishing for it to finally end
To come crumbling down on our dreams of pretend
A lifetime living our cruel hard best
Never realizing when we met
We close our eyes wishing for it to finally end
To come crumbling down on our dreams of pretend

Still we live in a love that’s failed
Far away from a fairytale
Giving lifeless kisses of despair
Lying motionless in the midnight air

Every time we think of
The death of our love
We feel terrified and drained
Living in a wonderland of pain

Candles burn low but still we wait
Watching castles falling in a golden lake
We close our eyes wishing for it to finally end
To come crumbling down on our dreams of pretend
A lifetime living our cruel hard best
Never realizing when we met
We close our eyes wishing for it to finally end
To come crumbling down on our dreams of pretend

Practicing plastic smiles
Pretending while (we)
Clench our teeth when we grin
Like lifeless puppets with no strings, puppets with no strings

Candles burn low but still we wait
Watching castles falling in a golden lake
We close our eyes wishing for it to finally end
To come crumbling down on our dreams of pretend
A lifetime living our cruel hard best
Never realizing when we met
We close our eyes wishing for it to finally end
To come crumbling down on our dreams of pretend

© Dreams Of Pretend by T. Curatolo (ASCAP) all rights reserved 8-31-10

http://www.jamwave.com/artist.aspx?AID=4616

http://www.jamwave.com/artist.aspx?AID=4616

Aug 31, 2010, 02:45 PM

‘’...Merci.. Merci.. Tony.. dude youre a very fierce writer..no doubt..you can throw down some tight
..Lyrics..the Lyrics are very well written…the production needs maybe a drum effect that’s
a lil more forceful…The production is missing’‘..something very vital to master a tight production..
your Lyrics are your strongest point right now..;o

Tony I wanna hear this Piece hit radio or films..it would make
a hell of a soundtrack..:) I;m diggin this a lot…:)

See you in a few;o
Shirl;o

Ps.. What genre is this…;o

Aug 31, 2010, 04:37 PM

Shirl;o,

The artist who produced the demo is trying to have the song licensed to a major artist so the production although not perfect, I believe is good enough to get the idea of the song across to any interested party. A final demo by the right artist with all the right instrumentals would would blast the lyrics into outer space. Thanks for your comps on the lyric and your imput on the song. This is the only lyric I have written using so many metaphors. Now if only I could duplicate this style again. I can’t write unless I’m inspired and right now the well is empty but I’m sure my inspiration will come back. I’m right there with you on it being on the radio or in film. I think I’d faint it it actaully happened—but when I got off the ground I’d throw the biggest party. But right now that idea is just Dreams Of Pretend:).

The genre is kind of soft rock sort of like the song Art Holt made from my lyric “Are You Still Mine” Talk to you soon.

Tony

Sep 01, 2010, 02:32 AM

Hey Tony,
as usual your lyrics are awesome. Great write. From a music perspective I like the demo. The music has a good sound and is well produced.
In my opinion the way the lyrics are embedded in the melody is a question of taste. It sounds as if it’s very hard to sing this one. The first time I listened I thought “Oh no”, but then the second time around I thought “man, this just might work, it sounds very unique”. So with the right artist this just might become a killer song because of the unique way it is sung. These days it’s hard to tell in advance.
The other thing that bothers me a little is that the title/hook doesn’t stand out musically like I think it should. I listened to this song twice and the title didn’t stay in my ear. I “hear” your lyrics differently. But like I said, this is a very unique interpretation of your lyrics that could lead to something very big.

All the best
Robert

Sep 01, 2010, 08:00 AM

Hi Robert,

To me it seems the music was easy to produce from the apparent cadence the artist heard reading the lyric, but you’re right it seems it is a bit hard to sing. You’re also correct about the hook factor not standing out musically, to my ear it sounds like every other part of the song and that’s why it doesn’t stay in my ear either which is a problem. I really like how the rest of it was sung and you’re correct it does sound unique. I think Shirley is correct the strength of lyric carries the song despite the lack of the hook factor but ultimately without the hook being dramatic and memorable it will have problems making it. I believe another artist could fix the problem. I’ll mention this issue to the artist and see what he says. 

Thanks for your honesty analyzing my song and your compliments of my lyric. I may write some good lyrics once in awhile but musically I’m a basket case-lol. Again thanks Robert I do appreciate your expert opinion.

Tony

Sep 01, 2010, 02:04 PM

Hey Tony, when I listened I found it too wordy, hard to catch
what was going on first time round, so like Robert listened again
and found it much more appealing, I guess the upshot is I
found it was interesting enough the first time to listen again
and that’s always a good sign, good luck with it hope it does
well for you.

Tony.

Sep 02, 2010, 09:14 AM

Hey Tony,

Thanks for giving it a listen and telling me what you think, I hear what you’re saying. Thanks again.

Tony