My Sweet, Lovelady (Need Crits: Good, Bad, and or Ugly…Hehe.)

 
       
 
Apr 27, 2012, 09:31 AM

Verse 1
I’m really needing you, for the rest of my life, now. Where have you been?
Tell me, who should have known it? You were there for me all along.
The pride and joy of this mine heart’s arisen!
So deep with inside you, do I belong.

Chorus
Lovelady, oh my sweet, Lovelady,
My sunshine girl, lighting my world,
While you’re dancing a twirly-twirl.

Lovelady, oh precious, Lovelady,
I love you so, how well you know.
Never let me go, my sweet, Lovelady.

Verse 2
Your eyes they brightly shine, within the depths of my soul. Darkness runs and hides.
Your name, so high have I given, above all women of all kinds.
I cherish you more than diamonds, besides,
Nothing compares to your sweetness, divine.

Chorus
Lovelady, oh my sweet, Lovelady,
My sunshine girl, lighting my world,
While you’re dancing a twirly-twirl.

Lovelady, oh precious, Lovelady,
I love you so, how well you know.
Never let me go, my sweet, Lovelady.

[ Edited: 27 April 2012 11:25 PM by Tony McCann]
 
     
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Tony McCann Joined Apr 24, 2012
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Apr 28, 2012, 12:26 AM

Tony I think it’s hard to understand express it more in words for everyone, more of a story, don’t make it sound to much like a poem. Remember that is just my opinion. I hope this makes since to you. I thought this might help you a little. Don’t ever change you style that’s not what I mean.
God Bless

 
     
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Elaine Brewer Joined Jun 06, 2009
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Apr 28, 2012, 04:04 AM

Thank you very much for the excellent critique of this song, Elaine. I’ll make the necessary changes ASAP. Hear from ya soon…..Tony

 
     
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Tony McCann Joined Apr 24, 2012
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Apr 28, 2012, 08:30 AM

So…hehe…this any better…let me know (Edited from My Sweet, Lovelady)


Darling, Dollbaby

Verse 1
I’m really needing you, for the rest of my life, now.
Where have you been?
I should have always known it’
You were there for me all along.
The joy of my heart is ever rising!
When you say you love me in your song.

Chorus
Dollbaby, darling, Dollbaby,
My sunshine girl, you light up my world,
While we’re dancing twirly-twirls.

Dollbaby, yeah sweet, Dollbaby
I love you so, oh, how well you know.
Never let me go, darling, Dollbaby.

Verse 2
Those blue eyes shine so bright, beaming through my soul.
Dark times runs and hides.
Your name, so specially given,
Above all women of all kinds.
I want you more than life and besides,
Nothing compares to knowing you’re only mine.

Chorus
Dollbaby, darling, Dollbaby
My sunshine girl, you light up my world,
While we’re dancing twirly-twirls.

Dollbaby, yeah sweet, Dollbaby
I love you so, oh how well you know.
Never let me go, darling, Dollbaby.

 
     
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Tony McCann Joined Apr 24, 2012
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Apr 28, 2012, 10:17 PM

Much, but I still think you can made some more changes. Keep up the good work.
God Bless

 
     
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Elaine Brewer Joined Jun 06, 2009
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