crap crap crap!

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Mar 16, 2017, 11:02 PM

did you ever have a song you really like, good storyline not to bad of a tune and can`t get it finished..I have one, crap I bet I have re-wrote this thing 12 times over the years, yes years. I go back not happy and drag that damn thing out again believing I can fix-it….lol no chance, and I can`t burn it, it would win!  got one of those?

 
     
L. Vincent Joined Sep 30, 2007
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Mar 22, 2017, 04:10 AM

C’mon, let’s see it, LV. I’m sure everyone on the lyrics forum would love to help. It might just need a new set of eyes.  :)

I bet Gary Andrews could unravel the mystery for you. He’s good that way.  :)

https://soundcloud.com/jennystokes-nz
http://www.evansandstokes.com

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain”
- Bob Marley

 
     
Jenny Stokes Joined Sep 24, 2015
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Mar 22, 2017, 08:54 AM

Vincent,

One of the things you realize the more you write is that a lot of ideas are just not there, and you have to let them go. Not everything is meant to be a song, not every song is going to turn out great. As a matter of fact, most turn out to be just “good ideas at the time.” A professional writer will write 125-200 songs a year and about 10-15 actually make the cut to continue on, and even fewer will end up on a project. Most hit records will have only one or two songs that the public really responds to, the rest being “album filler.” So don’t worry about it.

Sure, everyone gets those ideas, works on them, walk away,come back, try again, etc. and some songs develop through that. But sometimes you have to decide it’s just time to move on. Getting it around other co-writers and letting them take a shot at it,are always good steps. And there have been some pretty big hit songs that were written. forgotten about, and someone else discovers them, publishers, labels, artists, producers, etc. and the song went on to being a hit. Mostly you have to get out of your own way.

But then again, there is something to be said for letting go. If you have worked on it, returned to it, etc. the reality might just be that the idea is not there. And also writers are not always the best arbiters of their own work. Most all of us have some songs we ABSOLUTELY LOVE, but just fall flat with other people. Never really hits with audiences, never really hits with industry people, just sort of doesn’t work.

Get it as finished as you can, get it around other people and see if you can get some help. And then write more songs.

MAB

 
     
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MBarne4908 Joined Jul 29, 2010
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Mar 22, 2017, 12:06 PM

ok, guys I`ll get it on here..hey MAB I`ve had people take a look and say its ok, but I know who you are..and if you tell me throw that damn thing out I will….lol the subject matter might be a little used up too…I`ve had it so long.


Hi Gary, how the heck are you? been some time I`ve been there. Get a look at this song when I get it on and give me and Idea you have to pitch it or keep after it.. I like the song its just lacking something.  thanks so much guys, I`ll post it here it is lyric, and I`ll put the tune with it.

[ Edited: 22 March 2017 02:36 PM by L. Vincent]
 
     
L. Vincent Joined Sep 30, 2007
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Mar 22, 2017, 12:54 PM

L.Vincent,

I don’t really do that. I don’t tell people their idea sucks. I might tell them it has been written a lot or point out some things I see that might be better, but I will only be an opinion. Everybody has one. If you have had people that have connected with it, who am I to say anything? But I think the reason you come to something like this is that it has never lived up to your expectations. And many times that might be due to the idea simply not being there.

I tend to pride myself on being to write pretty much anything. It might not be some earth shattering thing, but I will write it and get it finished. A lot of what I do are “teaching lessons with a practical application effect.” I am showing elements of craft, focus, character development, avoiding second verse Hell, trying to find a different perspective on something etc. I work mostly with other people’s ideas they bring in. But sometimes something just might have been written a billion times and there is not a lot of ways to do something differently. Also, sometimes there might be AN ICONIC hit song that has either been a recent hit or something in history that is easily identifiable and no matter how well you write it, it is going to draw comparisons to the other song. Sometimes you just have to write it off to experience.

And I have learned a TON from even the songs that didn’t work out. I used to keep a bunch of “HOOK BOOKS.” These were tons of notebooks that had all these “brilliant ideas” that I swore, were going to be huge hit songs. Most of them were written down when I was off drinking in some bar and overly impressed by my overwhelming talent. (Big Joke there!). Over the years, I would bring them to these writing sessions, many with hugely successful hit writers, and pull these “hidden gems” out. And most of the time, it was always met by a blank look, a quiet pause and then…“What else you got?” After a lot of times of doing this and some real soul searching, I realized they JUST WERE NOT THAT GOOD TO BEGIN WITH!!!! That incredible guitar part or chord progression I had on hundreds of cassette tapes all languishing in the basement, really sounded great at 1:30 in the morning trying hit on some waitress, but in the cold light of day, it was really just some piece of something I had lifted from some bar song, or something that was really just a blurb of nothing.

Part of being a professional is being able to step back a bit and admit, “yeah, there’s a lot of that that is really just JUNK.” And move on.

I don’t know if that is what you have. Haven’t seen anything. But I have heard that question a billion times from every hit writer, publisher,producer, etc. that I have ever known. Like I said you work with them, try to get them finished, bring someone else in and give it the best shot. But you also have to realize that sometimes no matter what you do, it just might not be there and it’s time to move on.

I’ll always be glad to look at what you are talking about and give you an opinion. Don’t know that it will mean much, but I’m happy to do that for you.

MAB

 
     
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MBarne4908 Joined Jul 29, 2010
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Mar 22, 2017, 03:08 PM

thank you MAB, I hear all of that.  this thing never seemed right to me I might be trying way to hard, the verse seems stiff. I`m ok with the chorus. think I should lose the verse and keep the chorus? re-write the verse with a subject change? there are two versions of the song on the track the first is the orig” and has the orig lyric, the second is the new version with lyric change. I have all the music tracks with and without vocals, so I can basically do what I want… just hearing it again makes me wonder why I drug it out! I guess to make a little noise on the site…thanks for the offer


hey Gary, or Jenny any thoughts from you are really welcome in this..

 

 


https://soundcloud.com/lane1777/work-track

 

Sitting by the embers
I thought of you tonight
With the memories of a fire that burned so bright

2]
I often think about you
theres been a time or two.
tonight I really miss you
I let my heart go back.

“chorus
didn`t we dance a little longer
in the pouring rain.
didn`t we get a little stronger…side-by side.
didn`t we love a little harder, you and I..
..and we said good-bye.

3]
it`s a mystery
we never made it through these years.
we were so in love ..how it all
made perfect sense.
4]
I could say I`m sorry
that it all turned out this way.
holding on together
We got lost along the way.

bridge
there are times when I think of You
and the times We made it through..

chorus
didn`t we dance a little longer
in the pouring rain.
didn`t we get a little stronger…side-by side.
didn`t we love a little harder, you and I..
and we said good-bye.

chorus
didn`t we dance a little longer
in the pouring rain.
didn`t we get a little stronger…side-by side.
didn`t we love a little harder, you and I..

 


© Copyright 2015 Vincent. All Rights Reserved.

 
     
L. Vincent Joined Sep 30, 2007
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Mar 23, 2017, 01:12 PM

L. Vincent (I really wish people would use the names the wanted to be called here, makes it easier to talk to them,)

First of all what are the problems you are having with the song? You sort of have to look at it and see what you have. Are there any lines in this song that you have never heard before a million times? Dancing in the rain? Sitting by a fire’s embers? Wondering why things didn’t work out? etc. Is there any line that just jumps out at you that you can’t wait to hear?

You see, that is how most songs are with me, even my own. There might not be anything WRONG with it, but there is just not enough RIGHT with it. Most songs are not really that good, not really that bad, just mostly average. That is what this song seems to be to me. I don’t see things in the idea or the details that make me say “WOW, I’VE GOT TO HEAR MORE OF THAT.”

And I think that might be your problem with the song. You are trying hard to turn it into something, when in reality it is just a fairly average, often done idea. As I had said before, a lot of songs are written over and over and over. The guy brooding over a lost love is a pretty well worn subject matter. As a matter of fact, we even have a term for it in Nashville. “DDSS”, or DEPRESSED DUDE SINGER SYNDROME.

This goes along with the other most obvious forms of music here, ACSS. “ANGRY CHICK SINGER SYNDROME.” Those are probably the most common types of songs written. Thereby making them the hardest to find a way to do something different. How about throwing in a different twist.

I once did it writing a song where it looked like the singer (actually it was a female song) was finding a box of all the old pictures, gifts, things that they had taken and done together, trips they had made, etc. It seemed like it was just a “Sorry we’re broken up and what happened? Song. In the bridge I told WHY they had broken up. In the box was also a newspaper article where the guy had been driving, ran off a snowy bridge and was killed. That was the reason they were not together. Whacking a character is always a GREAT vehicle for the “ooooh crap” factor. The title of that song was “IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET.” I love to kill off people in songs. LOL!

So that is what I would first do. Decide WHY this song is so important. Why it sticks with you so much after a while. Is it because it is ABOUT someone special in your life? If so, are their any DETAILS you might share in the lyrics which would make the listener SEE why they should care about the song. Putting details, people, places, things, are very important in taking a song from just an emotional “So sorry we broke up” song to something the listener can SEE the action going on.

Just my Two and a 1/2 cents.
MAB

 
     
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MBarne4908 Joined Jul 29, 2010
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Mar 24, 2017, 11:16 AM

Lane, or Vincent my friend that is my name, either will do..not a big thing.


Thank you so much MAB for taking the time to look at this, and I had a feeling this is better off in a file just for me, call it even.


I once did it writing a song where it looked like the singer (actually it was a female song) was finding a box of all the old pictures, gifts, things that they had taken and done together, trips they had made, etc. It seemed like it was just a “Sorry we’re broken up and what happened? Song. In the bridge I told WHY they had broken up. In the box was also a newspaper article where the guy had been driving, ran off a snowy bridge and was killed. That was the reason they were not together. Whacking a character is always a GREAT vehicle for the “ooooh crap” factor. The title of that song was “IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET.” I love to kill off people in songs. LOL!”

that’s what this is, a remembrance of a person.. I don`t know its hard to write about. better to remember than to write I`m guessing.
thanks again MAB that really helps in making up my mind, I`m not writing this again…lol Now I have to go find that song you wrote and listen….lol

maybe I need to ask where to look..

[ Edited: 24 March 2017 11:41 AM by L. Vincent]
 
     
L. Vincent Joined Sep 30, 2007
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Mar 24, 2017, 12:30 PM

Lane, (thank you for that. Helps to know who I am talking to. People call me “MAB”, which rhymes with “CAB.” It stands for “Marc-Alan Barnette”, and is how I am known in Nashville. We used to have a bunch of Marc Alans and a bunch of Mark Barnettes” all doing music so it got quite confusing. And in the 90’s all the male artists went to three names, “BILLY RAY CYRUS, RICKY VAN SHELTON, etc. All the girls went to one name, REBA, MARTINA, SHANIA, etc. so it was just a thing. My Dad was Grady Ross Barnette, and we called him “GRB.” Pronounce GURB!”
So enough of that useless information. Just like to know who I am talking to.

The song I wrote is not up, because I never got it past a guitar vocal. A lot of songs I write are “teaching lessons with a practical application effect, and is done within my business, which is teaching songwriting craft and the art of performance. Many times, the songs are tied up with artists’ careers and I can’t post them due to possible conflicts with deals and other entities they are involved with. But on this one I can post the lyrics for you so you can see what I did. I can only talk about things I personally know about and do. The story was partially true in that the artist had been going through a divorce at the time we wrote this. But I didn’t want to go that route and just found an “alternative way” to end the story. This is it:

IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET
MAB/BLOETH/PACIFIC
6-6-08

Found a box of pictures, in my closet yesterday
Started going through it to see what to throw away
It was Disney World in 99’. Spring break out of Jackson High
You were 17, and I thought we’d be together all our lives

CHORUS
HOW DID WE GET SO FAR AWAY
WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE YESTERDAYS
WHEN WE BOTH HAD OUR WHOLE LIVES UP AHEAD
JUST TWO TEENS WITH BIG BOLD DREAMS
THOUGHT IT’D BE TOGETHER YOU AND ME
NOW THE YEARS CLOUD THOSE MEMORIES BUT YET
YOU’RE HARD TO REMEMBER
BUT IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGET

I drug out the year book, from our senior year
You’d signed there on the final page, “I’ll always be right here”
But the next month when you moved away, we both swore we would wait
Funny how time, can make forever seem to change

Chorus
Bridge
Then there was one last picture, in the bottom of the box
That newspaper article that I thought was lost
It said the road was icy, snow proab’ly blocked your view
Chances are you never knew what hit you

Chorus

So that is my song. I would suggest you step away from your’s for a while and maybe study some songs that have similar themes. A good one would be I DRIVE YOUR TRUCK, by Lee Brice. If you do a YOU TUBE search, usually you will find several songs that are similar. Many have videos with the lyrics on them. You might want to pull them up study the framework, the details, what the music is doing at the same time.
You will find some interesting things, namely that while they are about SOMBER subject matter, they are NOT DEPRESSING. This is called “A ROPE OF HOPE” and is done musically, by lifting the melody to a more positive feel, or resolving the song in a way that feels like a “release.” Most people are looking for some kind of escape in music, even if it is dealing with tough times.
Hope it helps. Nice to know your name.

MAB

 
     
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MBarne4908 Joined Jul 29, 2010
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Mar 24, 2017, 02:13 PM

that song I have is why I stay from anything personal, or about ..Me I seem to do a little better if its about something I`ve heard or read.
I like the verse in your song, almost like your writing free-verse,  I like words that sound alike, but not rhyme know what I mean?
“you killed her…lol
at the chorus, I`m beginning to understand what your talking about. in this example.
  thanks so much MAB your last paragraph gives me a guide and a reference with other songs. hopefully I do better, its really hard to write something fresh. for me it is, and I will take your advise and stick that song away..look at some similar songs, but keep that “rope of hope”
in mind. most of my writing is fun for me great hobby, but still want it to be decent for others to listen and take a look at.  Lane

I have other songs people do like, and to tell you the truth nobody liked this song..that should have been a heads-up along time ago, I just refused to let it go.  lol

 
     
L. Vincent Joined Sep 30, 2007
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Mar 24, 2017, 02:39 PM

Lane,

The rhymes you are talking about are called NEAR RHYMES, or “SOUND ALIKE” rhymes.
“Jackson High and Lives”, “Wait and Change” “View and You” Box and Lost”. They are rhymes that the vowel sound is the same, but the words are not TRUE rhymes. There are True rhymes as well, “Yesterday, Away”, Year, here”.  I use a variety to keep a song from sounding like a Doctor Seuss rhyme. It is what pro writers do to make a song be CONVERSATIONAL. Makes it sound like two people are having a conversation.
You can actually READ THE SONG ALOUD and it doesn’t sound forced or contrived .That is the point.

Songs are often like a movie or television script. Never let the facts get in the way of a good story. If you can keep it BASED IN REALITY, and use details that people can see in their mind’s eye, they will usually connect with the song. Interestingly enough on this one as well as few other that I “made up”, the details were EXACTLY what other people had gone through. There is nothing like someone coming up to you at a show, tears in their eyes and say “You are writing my life.”

That’s happened to me quite a bit, as most of the songs I write have elements of mine and other people’s lives in them. Also, by using “other people’s lives, newspaper articles, pieces and bits of information from various sources, etc. it can also keep you from getting TOO close to a subject. That is what clouds us a lot. I think one of the reasons you have been stymied by this song is that you are probably too close to it.

Songwriters will often have something I call “SONGWRITER’S TUNNEL VISION.” They know EXACTLY what they are talking about, because they have lived it. They have seen all the details and have gone through the experience. But when they try to write it, it comes out in generalities, and often falls flat or way short of the impact they are hoping for. So I think that is what has happened to you. You have the subject in your mind but finding it hard to write it down.

Here is something you can try:

Sit down and write out a few paragraphs about WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY. What is the TOTAL POINT OF THIS SONG?

Find your MOST IMPORTANT IDEA. What would this boil down to if it were to be on a BUMPER STICKER?
(in my case here, it is the title with the line before it, “You’re hard to remember, but impossible to forget.”

Write about the DETAILS of the relationship. Places, things, names. Where did you meet, what happened? Why did it end?

Write it down as if you are having a conversation with the person at an open air cafe’ or bar just relaxing and going over past times.

Start from the beginning. If you were directing this in a video, how would it start? Who would be in the scene? What is the dialogue?

Have a beginning, middle and end. Keep specific details in the verses, and be more general about how you FEEL.

Remember, you are trying to do this all in under 4 minutes. So try to keep your verses to 4-6 lines, maybe 4-5 in the chorus, and try to keep it to two verses and possibly a bridge. If you put time constructs on it, you will have to get rid of things that are not essential to the story.

EXPLAIN IT LIKE YOU WOULD TO A BLIND PERSON.

Try some of those and see if it works.

By the way, if you are interested in hearing me or what I do I am on WSM 650 AM radio this afternoon at 4:15 CST. It is online at http://www.wsmradio.com. It will probably be archived with the “FRIDAY FONTANEL” series with host DEVON ODAY.

Good luck.

MAB

 
     
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MBarne4908 Joined Jul 29, 2010
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Mar 24, 2017, 03:00 PM

copied all that MAB, so I can use it as a “ref

You can actually READ THE SONG ALOUD and it doesn’t sound forced or contrived” that’s what I`m talking about, had no clue what its called, I thought it was free-verse. Thanks again MAB you have been so much help..hey! I`ll be there. http://www.wsmradio.com.

I looked and there are wsm am 650         wsm live I`m thinking its the live, then

all kinds of wsm channels have a wsm Nashville tune-in wsm big in that town.

hey we have a IGA grocery store here and they “spin a couple of my songs…lol

[ Edited: 24 March 2017 03:15 PM by L. Vincent]
 
     
L. Vincent Joined Sep 30, 2007
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Mar 24, 2017, 08:22 PM

Hello Lane, thanks for the attention.

Free verse, is usually like it says, “FREE”, and doesn’t really have the restraints of rhyme or format. Some, like Rap, or hip hop, might, but mostly it would apply more to spoken poetry, and things that really don’t have any restrictions.
What I do in my songs are three things:

#1. REALITY. They sound like real life, details, and furniture that you can understand without a lot of additional explanations.

#2. CONVERSATIONAL. That sounds like two people having a conversation. Try to keep it from sounding forced or contrived.

#3. REINFORCING MELODIC HOOK. Throughout the song ,the melody is easily identifiable, and hopefully memorable. I hope people can hum it before the song is over.

This is what I strive for anyway, sometimes it might not work, but that is the goal.

MAB

 
     
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MBarne4908 Joined Jul 29, 2010
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Mar 24, 2017, 10:56 PM

Here are some ideas to kick around.

Title: Didn’t We? Then We Said Goodbye? Crap! Crap! Crap!?

Sitting by the embers, (6 syllables, 6 notes to sing, setting a ‘pattern’ to repeat.)
I thought of you tonight, (6)
With memories of a fire (8) (OUR fire?)
that burned so bright (4) (WE burned?)
(tonight/bright: known as ‘hard’ or ‘perfect’ Rhyme, lines 2 and 4. Verse 2 Hard-Rhymes lines 1 and 2 and 3 and has no Rhyme for line 4. Consistency of Rhyme-Scheme is important, especially on a ballad.)

2]
I often think about you
(Verse 1 line 2 uses the ‘thought/think’ concept. Repeating here may be redundant. A ‘rule’ is: “Once you’ve ‘said’ something, don’t ‘say’ it again. Use that ‘space’ to say something else.” This line has 7 syll/notes, close enough for the Melody to ‘match’ V1 line 1.)
there’s been a time or two.

7 6 7 4
A WARM BREEZE OFF THE WATER (7 instead of 6)
I let my heart go back.
Tonight I really miss you. (Tonight I’m really missing you (8)
I’M LOSING TRACK

chorus (I think you have about 11 seconds in an Introductory Movement. Good. The ‘rule’ is: “Don’t bore us! Get to the Chorus!” Which you do in about 54 or 57 seconds. Somewhere in the Chorus should be the title. “Didn’t We?”)

Didn’t we dance a little longer
in the pouring rain? (‘pouring water’ on the warm memory doesn’t seem to work. No Rhyme for ‘rain’ anyway. How about: IN THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS?)
Didn’t we get a little stronger…side-by side? (love? a little stronger?)
Didn`t we love a little harder, you and I..? (get? a little harder? Like their love turned.)
..and we said good-bye. (THEN? we said goodbye. before? we said goodbye?)

3]
it`s a mystery (5 syllables, 5 notes, a variation in Melody. Listeners have ‘learned’ the Melody hearing it before. Variations can lose them. This is just 1 off from V1 line 1, and what I propose as V2 line 1, but with short lines and slow Melody/tempo staying as close to identical as possible may be a good policy. Conceptually, some elucidation of what went wrong might work here.)
we never made it through these years. 8?
we were so in love ..how it all 8?
made perfect sense. 4 (Identical syll/note count to V1 line 4)

(Verse 3 above is all conceptual, nothing visual or other senses. The ‘embers’ idea you moved in your second version to open with had an immediate effect of engaging the imagination. That’s why I suggested the ‘WARM BREEZE’ idea, to continue that physical ‘place’ idea and expand on ‘embers’.The rest of V2 is conceptual but the ‘BREEZE’ may carry it. I suggest you rewrite V3, obeying the Melody dictates of V1/2, syllable/note counts, and get back to visuals. Paint her, that dress in a warm night by the fire, her hair, something the listener can’t help but imagine if you mention it. You may only need one sensory thing to keep the listeners’ imaginations engaged.)

4]
I could say I`m sorry (6)
that it all turned out this way. (Delete ‘that’ to get 6 syll/notes.)
holding on together (Got 6. V1 line 3 has 8.) (HOW THE LOVE WE PUT TOGETHER)
We got lost along the way. (7) (GOT LOST ALONG THE WAY) 6 (V1 line 4 has 4 syll/notes.)

chorus (2nd giving of the Chorus)
Didn’t we dance a little longer
IN THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS?
Didn’t we LOVE a little stronger…side-by side?
Did we GET a little harder, you and I?
BEFORE we said goodbye? (Title? Before We Said Goodbye)

bridge (Bridge doesn’t seem very ‘strong’, pivotal, meaningful. I like its brevity. Serves the function.)
there are times when I think of You
and the times We made it through..

Chorus
Didn’t we dance a little longer
IN THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS?
Didn’t we LOVE a little stronger…side-by side?
Did we GET a little harder, you and I?
BEFORE we said goodbye?

chorus
Didn’t we dance a little longer
IN THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS?
Didn’t we LOVE a little stronger…side-by side?
Did we GET a little harder, you and I?
BEFORE we said goodbye?

Coda
Can’t we dance a little longer…
Keep it under 3 minutes and 30 seconds.

© Copyright 2015 Vincent. All Rights Reserved

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? http://www.garyeandrews.com

 
     
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Gary E. Andrews Joined Apr 12, 2005
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Mar 24, 2017, 10:56 PM

Title: Didn’t We? Title: Before We Said Goodbye?

Sitting by the embers,
I thought of you tonight,
With memories of OUR fire.
WE burned so bright!

2]

A WARM BREEZE OFF THE WATER
I let my heart go back.
Tonight I’m really missing you
I’M LOSING TRACK

Chorus

Didn’t we dance a little longer
IN THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS?
Didn’t we LOVE a little stronger…side-by side?
Did we GET a little harder, you and I?
BEFORE we said goodbye?

3]
it`s a mystery (5 syllables, 5 notes, a variation in Melody. Listeners have ‘learned’ the Melody hearing it before. Variations can lose them. This is just 1 off from V1 line 1, and what I propose as V2 line 1, but with short lines and slow Melody/tempo staying as close to identical as possible may be a good policy. Conceptually, some elucidation of what went wrong might work here.)
we never made it through these years. 8?
we were so in love ..how it all 8?
made perfect sense. 4 (Identical syll/note count to V1 line 4)

(Verse 3 above is all conceptual, nothing visual or other senses. The ‘embers’ idea you moved in your second version to open with had an immediate effect of engaging the imagination. That’s why I suggested the ‘WARM BREEZE’ idea, to continue that physical ‘place’ idea and expand on ‘embers’.The rest of V2 is conceptual but the ‘BREEZE’ may carry it. I suggest you rewrite V3, obeying the Melody dictates of V1/2, syllable/note counts, and get back to visuals. Paint her, that dress in a warm night by the fire, her hair, something the listener can’t help but imagine if you mention it. You may only need one sensory thing to keep the listeners’ imaginations engaged.)

4]
I could say I`m sorry
it all turned out this way.
HOW THE LOVE WE PUT TOGETHER
got lost along the way

chorus (2nd giving of the Chorus)
Didn’t we dance a little longer
IN THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS?
Didn’t we LOVE a little stronger…side-by side?
Did we GET a little harder, you and I?
BEFORE we said goodbye?

bridge
there are times when I think of You
and the times We made it through..

chorus
Didn’t we dance a little longer
IN THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS?
Didn’t we LOVE a little stronger…side-by side?
Did we GET a little harder, you and I?
BEFORE we said goodbye?

chorus
Didn’t we dance a little longer
IN THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS?
Didn’t we LOVE a little stronger…side-by side?
Did we GET a little harder, you and I?
BEFORE we said goodbye?

Coda
Can’t we dance a little longer…

© Copyright 2015 Vincent. All Rights Reserved

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? http://www.garyeandrews.com

 
     
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Gary E. Andrews Joined Apr 12, 2005
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Mar 25, 2017, 02:27 PM

Gary I`m telling you…if you want to try this on I`ll give it to you…send you the music track so you can meter the words with the melody
I have two different tracks one acoustic, and one a little more to it, and a little different style. your welcome to both. use anything I`ve wrote if you want. I think I`m done with it..lol I have some other stuff written, takes it off in a different direction, your welcome to those lines too. just an offer no big thing.  Lane

 
     
L. Vincent Joined Sep 30, 2007
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