Looking for some input

 
       
 
Sep 11, 2017, 04:17 PM

I wrote a song a couple months ago for my band, im not sure about a couple lines so i would appreciate some input on it. I feel this is definitly one of my best efforts and I can visualize how it will sound once i record it (a step above previous attempts)

so here it is.

Verse:

Another shot going down the hatch
another thought at the end of a match
they’ve got all eyes watching you

The times coming to an end
go ahead tell another friend
theres nothing that you can do

Pre- Chorus:

write it down and pass it around….

Chorus:
Its just another goddam conspiracy theory
running rampant through your brain,
makes you go insane

another subliminal message causing chaos
makes you think that you are dead
inside your head


Verse:
by now the panic’s setting in
your overthinking everything
the fear now controls your life

keep running and dont look back
its time for another attack
go ahead and say it one more time


Pre Chorus

Chorus

Guitar Lead

Chorus

i got a little lazy with the typing at the end (also save some space when i print stuff out.
Im not sure if i should write a bridge or not for it or if its going to come out too short.

and like I said there are a couple lines that im unsure of as i dont know if theyre weak or if they make it work.

 
     
Brandan Joined Jan 03, 2017
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Sep 12, 2017, 04:24 AM

The Guitar Lead will serve the function of a Bridge. It is an instrumental Bridge, as opposed to a Lyrical/Vocal Bridge.

The main problem I see is lack of THE Hook. I don’t see a strong summary idea, the gist of what the Song is about, what would be the title, usually prominently placed in the Chorus, the strategic last line, or the first AND last line, or repeated 2 or 3 times at the end of the Chorus, or within the Chorus, and which would repeat a minimum of three times throughout the Song, more being stronger.


your overthinking everything

‘your’ means ‘belonging to you’, like ‘our’ means ‘belonging to us’, ‘their’, ‘belonging to them’.

‘You’re’ means ‘You are’.

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? http://www.garyeandrews.com

 
     
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Gary E. Andrews Joined Apr 12, 2005
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Sep 12, 2017, 01:20 PM

ill see if i can make the hook a little more obvious, basically i got tired of hearing people telling me about all these conspiracies while i was out drinking or at work. so i used that as a base for the song. Aside of that i didnt actually go over my spelling. i just typed it up and was going to deal with the rest afterwards. (sort of a bad habit ive developed over the years)  thanks for the input though

 
     
Brandan Joined Jan 03, 2017
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