I’m Doing All Right

 
       
 
Oct 09, 2017, 01:58 PM

Here is my latest. It’s meant to be a slow country ballard.

I’m Doing All Right

Chorus
“I’m doing all right”, is what I always say
That’s my answer these days
I look fine from the outside
But I’m dying on the inside
I’m doing all right is what I always say

Verse
I spend most days all by myself
Like some forgotten book sitting on a shelf
Staring out the window of my broken home
Lord I hate being all a lone

Pre Chorus
There used to be somebody
a long long time ago
People from my past
they always stop and ask
And I always say
Chorus

“I’m doing all right”, is what I always say
That’s my answer these days
I look fine from the outside
But I’m dying on the inside
I’m doing all right is what I always say
Lead Break

Chorus X2
Tag
I’m doing all right is what I usually say

[ Edited: 09 October 2017 10:30 PM by marshall williams 1]
 
     
Avatar
marshall williams 1 Joined Mar 27, 2006
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank

Send PM

 
Oct 09, 2017, 07:14 PM

Hi Marshall,

I think the lyric could benefit from being a bit more specific about the romantic interest. Give us something to get our emotional teeth into - otherwise you risk making one of those generic “miserable me” songs.

Also, he’s staring out the window of his broken home, but later you say, “There used to be somebody a long long time ago.” A broken home usually refers to something fairly recent.

I do like the chorus and, of course, your music can make anything sound good.

 
     
Avatar
Gavin Sinclair Joined Dec 02, 2014
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank

Send PM

 
Oct 09, 2017, 10:18 PM
Gavin Sinclair - 09 October 2017 07:14 PM

Hi Marshall,

I think the lyric could benefit from being a bit more specific about the romantic interest. Give us something to get our emotional teeth into - otherwise you risk making one of those generic “miserable me” songs.

Also, he’s staring out the window of his broken home, but later you say, “There used to be somebody a long long time ago.” A broken home usually refers to something fairly recent.

I do like the chorus and, of course, your music can make anything sound good.

Thanks Gavin. I am thinking about changing the line on the” broken home” to “empty home”. I get what you are saying about the broken home. I kind of thought that myself.

 
     
Avatar
marshall williams 1 Joined Mar 27, 2006
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank

Send PM

 
Oct 10, 2017, 10:57 AM

Hello Marshall,

I believe the “empty home” is a much better fit.  Best wishes,

Speak soon

Music is an international language, say it with a song.

.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

 
     
Deacon Joined Aug 30, 2009
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank

Send PM

 
Oct 10, 2017, 11:58 AM

I think you should try to make this more ‘universal’...... All of us always say, “Yea, I’m doing fine,”
but what’s the truth that we’re all avoiding? Why do we alienate ourselves? Relationships come
and go and we all feel that sting, especially later in life…. after a 50 year marriage for example.
But that’s natural…... what is that unnatural and unwritten rule of pride and etiquette that we all
seem to hold each other accountable for….....?

 
     
Avatar
JAPOV Joined Jul 02, 2006
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank

Send PM

 
Oct 10, 2017, 02:30 PM
JAPOV - 10 October 2017 11:58 AM

I think you should try to make this more ‘universal’...... All of us always say, “Yea, I’m doing fine,”
but what’s the truth that we’re all avoiding? Why do we alienate ourselves? Relationships come
and go and we all feel that sting, especially later in life…. after a 50 year marriage for example.
But that’s natural…... what is that unnatural and unwritten rule of pride and etiquette that we all
seem to hold each other accountable for….....?

Thanks for stopping by and reading my lyrics. I recently attended my 35th high school reunion. It was the first high school reunion I had attended since graduating. “How are you doing” was the universal question. “I’m doing all right” was my universal answer. It’s the complimentary answer to a complimentary question.  We don’t or at least I don’t volunteer a lot of information on an initial greeting from someone. I may look fine from the outside but I’m dying on the inside is what we all feel. We all have this front we put up when we are in public. This is whether we are living on the street or a mansion.

 
     
Avatar
marshall williams 1 Joined Mar 27, 2006
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank

Send PM

 
Oct 10, 2017, 02:57 PM

Ha! That’s a perfect example :) You’ve picked a tough subject!
I would come at this from a different angle…....... My title would probably be
something like…..... “Do you really want to know?” lol
But that’s just me :)

 
     
Avatar
JAPOV Joined Jul 02, 2006
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank

Send PM

 
Oct 11, 2017, 01:26 PM
JAPOV - 10 October 2017 02:57 PM

Ha! That’s a perfect example :) You’ve picked a tough subject!
I would come at this from a different angle…....... My title would probably be
something like…..... “Do you really want to know?” lol
But that’s just me :)

Actually that is a really good hook. Wouldn’t take much to do a spin of that.

 
     
Avatar
marshall williams 1 Joined Mar 27, 2006
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank

Send PM

 
Oct 11, 2017, 02:13 PM

Or a bridge? Go ahead man, roll with it! :)

 
     
Avatar
JAPOV Joined Jul 02, 2006
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank
  • Rank

Send PM