Co writing/production on catchy pop/rock song

 
       
 
Oct 20, 2017, 08:53 AM

https://soundcloud.com/graham-ricks/dont-close-your-eyes

Looking for co writing/ production on this catchy pop rock song idea needs a great demo any interest please contact

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graham2u Joined Feb 23, 2013
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Oct 23, 2017, 09:41 AM

Graham, your title is probably “Don’t Leave Me Like A Shadow On The Wall” or just “Don’t Leave Me” or “Leave Me Like A Shadow”. Those are the words occupying the strategic last line of the Chorus. Those are the words that fill the final minute of the 3:32 time.

I’m not getting some lines, as I listen. The Lyric seems vague, perhaps only Rhyming without saying significant things in a comprehensible storyline. I’ll listen a fourth time to see if I get more. No. Still miss some words that weaken the effect of the whole line, weakening the Verse, weakening the whole Song. Either you’re not enunciating clearly, or I just can’t hear well. Possibly what the Lyric is saying isn’t significant in ‘getting’ the story or moving it forward.

Introductory Movement: about 11 seconds. Good. The ‘rule’ is: Don’t bore us; get to the Chorus.

And you do, at about 40 seconds in, as I recall. By about 2:23, I think, you’re finished with story and simply finishing up with Bridge and final giving of the Chorus, or the main part of it, which is NOT “Don’t Close Your Eyes” but “Don’t Leave Me (Like A Shadow On The Wall)”.

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? http://www.garyeandrews.com

 
     
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Gary E. Andrews Joined Apr 12, 2005
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