My first post in this forum - In These Early Hours

 
       
 
Jan 07, 2018, 05:43 AM

Hi to everyone.

This is my first finished song in this forum, thanks for taking the time to listen to it, I hope you like it, and I’d be very grateful to anyone who can advise on how they think it can be improved or just if you like it or not.

https://soundcloud.com/cowparsleyman/these-early-hours


It was written like this. My Father died in 2013, which was a loss but not unexpected, then a year later his brother died too, he was similar to my Father in so many ways.

I just pictured God calmly pouring out 2 cups of tea, sitting at a coffee table with 2 chairs opposite each other, with a couple of sandwiches, finishing his and then saying something like, “OK must get back to work, and then saying to my Uncle in a way that only he could hear… “Oh by the way, it’s time and your tea is getting cold”, then he died.

It was all very clear to me at the time.

The lyrics are:
V1
I was thinking to myself the other day,
What happens when God decides to say,
It seems like we both know that it’s time for us to go,
I just don’t know how to carry on

V2
I was talking to myself the other night
didn’t seem to help but it might
It’s not within my power, to help you in these early hours,
So dry your eyes and try and get some sleep.

Guitar Solo

V3
Not thinking of anything at all
eyes are shut feeling very small
Gods face appeared and smiled
I’ve been watching you for quite a while
it’s time and your tea is getting cold
it’s time you know, and your tea is getting cold.
it’s time and your tea is getting cold.


I played all instruments, and sang.

and for those who are interested…

The drums are Yamaha dtextremeIII
The guitar solo is a classic vibe Squier Tele through a Palmer fat 50 valve amp, mic’d up.
The acoustic is a Gibson J30
The bass is a Yamaha trb4 through a roland cube 100
The shaker is an old cistern ballcock filled with rice.

Recorded in Samplitude Pro x3, I try not to process the sound too much.
Rode mics

Mastered with Sony Soundforge 11.

 
     
Rich Joined Jan 06, 2018
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Jan 09, 2018, 03:48 PM

I like laid back, sort of ironic, feel to this! My only suggestion would be…..
from the Am in the middle of your verse, instead of C D Em, go back to
the G. Ending the verse in Em seems a little too “melodramatic” for this
song…. but that may just be me :) Great Sound!

 
     
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JAPOV Joined Jul 02, 2006
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Jan 09, 2018, 03:59 PM
JAPOV - 09 January 2018 03:48 PM

I like laid back, sort of ironic, feel to this! My only suggestion would be…..
from the Am in the middle of your verse, instead of C D Em, go back to
the G. Ending the verse in Em seems a little too “melodramatic” for this
song…. but that may just be me :) Great Sound!

Thanks very much for your considered comments, I’ll take another listen and get back to you.

CPM

 
     
Rich Joined Jan 06, 2018
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Jan 10, 2018, 06:23 PM

The rice in your ballcock is slightly out of tune :)

Very nice. Has a real old time English folk feel to it and the central idea around the teacups is great.

 
     
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Gavin Sinclair Joined Dec 02, 2014
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Jan 11, 2018, 06:06 AM
Gavin Sinclair - 10 January 2018 06:23 PM

The rice in your ballcock is slightly out of tune :)

Very nice. Has a real old time English folk feel to it and the central idea around the teacups is great.

thanks very much for your advice, yeah, my ballcock tuning is always an issue….

Cpm

 
     
Rich Joined Jan 06, 2018
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Jan 11, 2018, 09:23 AM

Actually, the shaker was a really nice touch. I noticed it as I listened, but it wasn’t at all intrusive. Excellent ballcock work!

 
     
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Gavin Sinclair Joined Dec 02, 2014
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Jan 11, 2018, 09:27 AM
Gavin Sinclair - 11 January 2018 09:23 AM

Actually, the shaker was a really nice touch. I noticed it as I listened, but it wasn’t at all intrusive. Excellent ballcock work!

Gavin

I think that’s one of the things I work on, having ‘subliminal’ hooks, things that once you know the song you would miss if they were removed. The Shaker was intended to be thus.

I’m up for buying a guiro and a cabasa for the same sort of idea, but they need to be down in the mix.

CPM

 
     
Rich Joined Jan 06, 2018
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Jan 11, 2018, 05:34 PM

Wow. Nice song! Really like it.

 
     
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John Evans Joined Oct 01, 2016
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Jan 12, 2018, 05:07 AM
John Evans - 11 January 2018 05:34 PM

Wow. Nice song! Really like it.

Thanks very much John, can you suggest any ways to improve it apart from the dodgy drum timing, and the off centre snare…

Rich

 
     
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Jan 12, 2018, 09:14 AM
Gavin Sinclair - 11 January 2018 09:23 AM

Actually, the shaker was a really nice touch. I noticed it as I listened, but it wasn’t at all intrusive. Excellent ballcock work!

Hi Gavin, Just listened to your songs on SC, nice stuff there. who’s the dude on the lap steel guitar, this sound would really fit on some 1 or 2 of my songs?

Rich

 
     
Rich Joined Jan 06, 2018
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Jan 12, 2018, 01:04 PM

Rich, that’s Beau Strokes, our fiddle player, who also plays steel guitar.
http://mysteriousbeings.com/meet-the-band/

(He has a little help from Band in a Box)

 
     
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Gavin Sinclair Joined Dec 02, 2014
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Jan 12, 2018, 01:51 PM
Gavin Sinclair - 12 January 2018 01:04 PM

Rich, that’s Beau Strokes, our fiddle player, who also plays steel guitar.
http://mysteriousbeings.com/meet-the-band/

(He has a little help from Band in a Box)

Hi Gavin

Do you think he would be up for doing something on one of my songs, i love his sound

Regards

Rich

 
     
Rich Joined Jan 06, 2018
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Jan 12, 2018, 04:05 PM

Beau is kind of hard to get in touch with. He has a deep suspicion of the Federal Government spying on him, so he has no phone or computer and lives off the grid in a shack somewhere near Black Mountain, North Carolina. The roof is covered in Miller Lite cans to shield him from the satellites. He throws a new one up there every time he finishes a beer, which is quite frequently. This leads a lot of folks to conclude that he is not right in the head, and I have to agree, although, to be fair, lots of people drink Miller Lite. Besides, he maintains that if he’s not right in the head, that just proves he is right about the beams emanating from those satellites.

I will PM you with his contact details. Do you own a mule?

 
     
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Gavin Sinclair Joined Dec 02, 2014
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Jan 12, 2018, 05:51 PM
Gavin Sinclair - 12 January 2018 04:05 PM

Beau is kind of hard to get in touch with. He has a deep suspicion of the Federal Government spying on him, so he has no phone or computer and lives off the grid in a shack somewhere near Black Mountain, North Carolina. The roof is covered in Miller Lite cans to shield him from the satellites. He throws a new one up there every time he finishes a beer, which is quite frequently. This leads a lot of folks to conclude that he is not right in the head, and I have to agree, although, to be fair, lots of people drink Miller Lite. Besides, he maintains that if he’s not right in the head, that just proves he is right about the beams emanating from those satellites.

I will PM you with his contact details. Do you own a mule?

Beau sounds just like the guy I need for lead steel guitar, no computer, roof made of lite beer cans, does he spit ‘baccy? does he have son called John Boy? can he play the ballcock shaker?

sure I have a mule and a muskrat (whatever that is)

Rich

 
     
Rich Joined Jan 06, 2018
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Jan 14, 2018, 03:20 PM

Thanks to everyone that replied, I have got some good ideas for this sing, glad you liked it.

I’m so glad that you guys are honest and have a grrrrreat sense of humour.

Rich

 
     
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