Let’s write a hit

 
       
 
Jan 13, 2018, 05:53 AM

Here is a track with melody

https://soundcloud.com/aleksalt/its-plain

and one important thing is missed: lyrics required

I see it as a song for female singer and even imagine who could be those possible performers

 
     
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Aleksandr Saltovskiy Joined Oct 16, 2007
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Jan 13, 2018, 07:27 AM

Seems I’ve come up with a good title for that song:

Never Say This Again

it lies good on the first 5 notes in a chorus as well as on the last 5 notes there

 
     
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Aleksandr Saltovskiy Joined Oct 16, 2007
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Jan 13, 2018, 09:25 AM

Hello Aleksandr,

Good to see you again.  Great sounding track, Thank you for sharing.  I like the title you have come up with, many possibilities for it.  Just a thought, have you considered using ” Never Say That Again “.  Good luck with this piece and best wishes,

Speak soon,

Music is an international language, say it with a song.

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Deacon Joined Aug 30, 2009
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Feb 07, 2018, 02:54 AM

See if this gets you started Alek.

Never Say This Again. Lyric by Gary E. Andrews for Alekandr Saltovsky

Can’t we talk about it now?
Can we walk without it now?
Can’t we leave the past behind
And move ahead?

Can’t you for-give my mistake?
Can we give ourselves a break?
Can we stop our sadness now
And laugh instead?

Chorus
What’s on your mind, My darling?
Can you tell me without crying?
What have we done to our love?
Have we wrecked our lovers’ plan?
Can we Never Say This Again?

Don’t you see a way to go?
Can I see the face I know?
Can I have the kiss I need
To lift me up?

Is there no-thing I can do?
To make it all up to you,
To wash away the last of tears
To show my love?

What’s on your mind, My darling?
Can you tell me without crying?
What have we done to our love?
Have we wrecked our lovers’ plan?
Can we Never Say This Again?

Bridge
There were times when nothing mattered
More than getting home to you again!
Now our love is lying broken, scattered
Like pearls and stones and bones on sand!

What’s on your mind, My darling?
Can you tell me without crying?
What have we done to our love?
Have we wrecked our lovers’ plan?
Can we Never Say This Again?

Don’t you see a way to go?
Can I see the face I know?
Can I have the kiss I need
To lift me up?

Coda

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? http://www.garyeandrews.com

 
     
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Gary E. Andrews Joined Apr 12, 2005
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Feb 08, 2018, 07:32 AM

Hi Gary,
thanks for your input,
2 things 2 say about: good and bad…
good one: I like an idea of a lyrics, it reminds me Just Give Me A Reason
by Nate Ruess(Pink)
bad one (very subjective): when I try to sing it, I stumble because can’t breathe…
once more, IMHO, others might have another view

PS. Nobody asked me, who is/are the singer(s) that I see as performer(s)
for the future song…
maybe, this is a key…

 
     
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Aleksandr Saltovskiy Joined Oct 16, 2007
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Feb 08, 2018, 08:48 AM

Yes, your Melody fills the space. I tried to fit words on the notes.

My main criticism is the abstract concepts, no imagery in the Lyric. I tried to keep a female point-of-view in mind.

Where to breathe is something the singer has to learn with each Song. Even this Lyric might have places to breathe but if you don’t know and don’t breathe there you find yourself out in the next line before you realize there’s no breath to finish.

Your structure seems solid. I think the timing for arrival at the Chorus is right at about 1 minute. The Bridge is in the right place, and brief enough to serve the function. The Melody may need to be tweaked for vocal delivery as opposed to instrumental execution. A singer might find places to change the pitch of some notes up or down to suit them.

Back to the drawing board! Here are some variations. It doesn’t fix the breathing though.

Never Say Love Again. Lyric by Gary E. Andrews for Alekandr Saltovsky

Can’t we talk about it now? You and I, by diff’rent roads,
Can we walk without it now? came to places we don’t know,
Can’t we leave the past behind,  looking for a place to cross,
And move ahead? the bridge ahead.

Can’t you for-give my mistake? You can’t forgive my mistake.
Can we give ourselves a break? You can’t give our love a break.
Can we stop our sadness now, We’re both stuck in sadness now.
And laugh instead? The lights are red.

Chorus
What’s on your mind, My darling? Is there no time, for changing?
Can you tell me without crying? Are we stuck with how things are?
What have we done to our love? What will I do without you?
Have we wrecked our lovers’ plan? Have we done all we can?
Can we Never Say This Again? Will we Never Say Love Again?

Don’t you see a way to go?  He’s a fool and I was too.
Can I see the face I know?  That’s why I came back to you.
Can I have the kiss I need
To lift me up?

Is there no-thing I can do?
To make it all up to you,
To wash away the last of tears   To cry away the last of tears
To show my love?

Is there no time, for changing?
Are we stuck with how things are?
What will I do without you?
Have we done all we can?
Will we Never Say Love Again?

Bridge
There were times when nothing mattered
More than getting home to you again!
Now our love is lying broken, scattered
Like pearls and stones and bones on sand!

Is there no time, for changing?
Are we stuck with how things are?
What will I do without you?
Have we done all we can?
Will we Never Say Love Again?

Don’t you see a way to go?
Can I see the face I know?
Can I have the kiss I need
To lift me up?

Coda

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? http://www.garyeandrews.com

 
     
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Gary E. Andrews Joined Apr 12, 2005
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Feb 12, 2018, 10:20 PM

Maybe ??? Let me know !
Old times

We could ride through the town
Roll the windows down
Talk about you and me
Or we could drive all night do whatever you like
Whatever that might be

Cause I’ve dreamed this here for a couple of years catching up with you
And now your in this bar with your old guitar just like you use to do
I wanna hear how you’ve been what you’ve been through but I need to know the truth
Have you been missing me like I’ve been missing you.

I always wondered when I left if it’d be a regret
But what you didn’t know is I prayed for you to go down a better road I never thought I’d be seeing you and how that might go
but when my eyes met yours we felt the love that was once known
And you asked me baby please come home

Cause I’ve dreamed this here for a couple of years catching up with you
And now your in this bar with your old guitar just like you use to do
I wanna hear how you’ve been what you’ve been through but I need to know the truth
Have you been missing me like I’ve been missing you.

 
     
Taylor ann Joined Feb 10, 2018
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