Nacogdoches Rain

 
       
 
Feb 12, 2018, 09:15 AM

I know your leaving

In the morning

“Follow your dreams” is

Something I have always said

Dreams are important as

The love i have for you

But now I feel like this

Is more that I can do.

 

 

Take my hand for just

One moment

Let me hold you in my arms

Tonight

I understand that you’ll

Be leaving

Follow your dreams if

That’s what in your heart

 

 

 

I’m not asking to throw

your dreams away

And I can’t hide the tears

I cry for you each day

Searching and praying

How to find a way

Waiting for the sun

In the Nacogdoches rain

 

 

 

C: J Carl Morris 2/18

 
     
Vet393 Joined Jul 02, 2014
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Feb 12, 2018, 10:32 AM

Nacogdoches Rain C: J Carl Morris 2/18 (Pronounced Knack-a-dish if memory serves.)

I know your leaving (‘your’ means ‘belonging to you’. The right words here are ‘you’re’, meaning ‘you are’)

In the morning

“Follow your dreams” is (Like this, ‘your dreams’, the dreams belonging to you.)

Something I have always said (Or ‘you’ have always said?)

Dreams are important as

The love I have for you

But now I feel like this (Do you need that ‘But’? Would the line read the same, be better w/o it?)

Is more that I can do. (‘that’ or ‘than’?)

(It just occurred to me, since the Singer-Character referenced ‘in the morning’, he could say ‘tonight’ instead of ‘now’ I feel…’ You DO use ‘Tonight’ in the next Verse though. Clear indications of the passage of time can help a story work.)

(A Song with a slow Tempo, and a specific Melody, ideally, would repeat the Melody of the First Verse identically for the Second Verse, or almost identically. This seems like a slow Tempo/Melodic Song where Syllable/Note-Count can help. The number of Syllables in the Lyric is probably the number of Notes in the Melody, allowing for sustained notes or words pronounced with multiple Notes. A singer can ‘match’ Melodies without having an identical Syllable/Note-Count, if the differences aren’t too great. A writer can count notes in V1 Line 1 and see how many are in V2 Line 1, and so on with each line, tweaking the wording or execution to make the Lyric/Melody match.)

Take my hand for just (Syll/Note-Count, V1 versus V2: 5 - 5)

One moment (4 - 3)

Let me hold you in my arms (5 - 7)

Tonight (7 - 2)

I understand that you’ll (6 - 6)

Be leaving (6 - 3)

Follow your dreams if (6 - 4) (If you delete ‘But’, 5 - 4)

That’s what’s in your heart (6 - 5)

(There’s a lot of Syllable/Note variation there. Again, a singer might be able to even it up, but a little tweaking by the writer might even it up so you don’t count on the singer to know what to do.)

  (Since the title is in this stanza I’m thinking this is the Chorus. It has a feel like those great Kristofferson tunes, “Help Me Make It Through The Night” and “For The Good Times”.)

I’m not asking to throw (asking ‘you’?)

your dreams away

And I can’t hide the tears (Delete ‘And’?)

I cry for you each day

Searching and praying (“I’m”, the noun, the actor to do the action of the verb, “I’m searching…”

How to find a way

Waiting for the sun

In the Nacogdoches Rain

(I’m calculating you won’t get to the title, THE Hook, before about a minute and a half if you do both Verses before starting the Chorus. That’s about 30 seconds late, unless the Melody for the Chorus is dynamically different from the Verses. That change of dynamics might renew interest. Or you might start the Chorus right after the First Verse, about 30 seconds in. Introductory Movement (about 10-14 seconds), First Verse, (ending about 35-40 seconds in), Chorus (about 1:05-1:10 sec. in), Second Verse, (about 1:25 - 1:30), Repeat Chorus, (2 minutes), Instrumental Bridge, (2:45), final giving of the Chorus, (3:15), Coda (3:25), and end.)

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? http://www.garyeandrews.com

 
     
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Gary E. Andrews Joined Apr 12, 2005
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Feb 12, 2018, 11:02 AM

I like the input, this is first draft of song.
Nacogdoches, Texas is song
Natchitoches, Louisiana (Pronounced Knack-a-dish)

I am from both states…..

 
     
Vet393 Joined Jul 02, 2014
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Feb 13, 2018, 11:23 AM

Song

[ Edited: 13 February 2018 11:48 AM by Vet393]
 
     
Vet393 Joined Jul 02, 2014
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Feb 13, 2018, 11:24 AM

This is bluegrass style…...

 
     
Vet393 Joined Jul 02, 2014
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